My
marriage proposal
THE
CREATION OF MARRIAGE
Marcelo Augusto de Carvalho
GENESIS 2.18-25
The sixth day of
creation was really stirred on Earth. On this day he created the terrestrial or
selvático animals, created man, made him name all species of animals raised, as
well as created his companion, celebrated his marriage and still waited for the
sunset of that first Friday in the history of the world.
What will interest us now will be the
magnificent union of marriage. We might think: why did God create
marriage? Couldn't He have created man to live alone? Could not
man find pleasure and satisfaction in sources other than marital relationship?
God could have created man in this way, but he did not. He decided to create it
with the need to have a companion, for he saw that this would be ideal for man.
For this he did so, and he still appreciated such a creation on his part,
saying, "And God saw all that he had done, and behold, he was very
good." Genesis 1.31.
All human beings
were created with the need to marry and form a family, with wife, husband and
children. Only within this ideal society can man be fully realized. Even
irrational animals and plants require such a relationship.
THEY NEED EACH OTHER
Have you ever wondered what this world
would be like if there were no insects? There would be no mosquito, smudge or
bee bites, no flies to be swarmed. If this idea seems to be appealing, also
consider that there would be no colored
butterflies to observe, honey to eat or crickets to listen to at night. There
would be fewer flowers and very few fruits. Without the insects, many plants
and animals would die. For example, without nocturnal insects bats would die,
and perish after him certain species of lizards. There would be no swallows,
flycatchers and woodpeckers, to mention only 3 birds that feed on insects; many
plants would also die, as they work in pollinating the plants. Consequently,
without plants most animals, even carnivores would die, because there would be
no food for any species.
No computer has been able to gather all
the factors in such a way that life on Earth has processed as it is. If a few
links of the current of life on the planet are eliminated, it will all fall
apart. One thing is related to the other, depending both of the other to work
well.
Marriage was
created by God on this basis, that of each other's need, but in order to reach
the maximum of its potential, it is necessary that the spouses follow the laws
established by the Creator, which we will study quickly below.
1)
Soon after completing the first of thousands of wedding ceremonies in history,
God gave an order to the couple; "And the man will leave his father and
mother, and cling to his wife." Genesis 2.24.
It is extremely important that when they
marry the spouses they
disconnect from the family to which they belonged. They should never allow
parents to engage in their intimate problems, nor should they ask them to try
to persuade the other spouse to change their attitudes. They should also seek
to live in their own home, not depending financially or emotionally on their
parents or in-laws.
- It's interesting to note that animals
follow the privacy law of their home. Seagulls settle in crowded colonies, and each pair has a
small territory that is tenaciously defended. When a cub moves away from its
territory and penetrates that of another family, the owners of the invaded
region attack the cub and send it back to their home or even kill it.
- Spider cubs, as soon as they are able to support themselves,
venture out on their own from their home and set up residence in another part
of the tree where their mother lives, or launch themselves on a very exciting
journey. In the latter case, they climb up to a branch, lift up their abdomen,
and expel a thread of seed; when the wind throws the wire into the air, the
little spider continues to produce until there is enough silk to act as parades
to the wind that lifts it in the air, causing it to fly far away from the place
where it was born. Sailors on ships
2) It is
impressible that at the "table" of a marriage true love is served,
that described in 1 Corinthians 13, full of qualities such as: sufferer,
descent, disinterested, humble, serious, just, gullible, hopeful and patient.
- Sad is to recognize that currently man
is developing an empty love, just as it does people who put plastic flowers in their gardens to beautify
their home. Such flowers look real, however there is no delicious natural
fragrance, nor the quality of the deep impression and satisfaction that
legitimate roses are able to bring us.
That is why there are so many divorces,
dissatisfied spouses and such empty homes. It serves only petty feelings,
sensual attraction, companionship, pleasures, exchanges of favors and anything
more, never, but true love, which emashes from God and transforms the life of
those who receive it.
3) Marriage is
an inseparable, indissoluble marriage. The Creator decreed, "Therefore
what God has gathered together does not separate man" Mark 10:8.
As they walk up the holy altar to ask
God to unite them, the couple must keep in mind that they are making a decision
that can never be revoked. If this happens, such people will never find divine
support for such an attitude, as will His blessings for a future union with
another person. It doesn't matter what the circumstances are; if old age,
termination of interest or unbearable defects of one or both elements: the
spouses are not allowed a new covenant.
- Dolphins express companionship size and appreciation for
their companions that when one of them asks the other for death, many of them
refuse to eat. Some are surrounding the body of their beloved dead, whistling
constantly, dying from the pain of loss. The tuins, close relatives of the
parakeets, live in flocks and whenever they land, the couples soon get
together, so that they are always grouped every two. They are much appreciated
in captivity - not because they learn to speak, but because of their very
interesting way of life and dedicated love. Several times it has been found
that when one of them dies, the survivor is so acabrunhado, that shortly after
he grieves, wesels and dies too.
4) Avoiding
silly fights should be a constant reminder in the couple's day-to-day life.
There must be dialogue and discussions on the basis of mutual respect, but on
important issues in the lives of both the family. There are countless couples
who have been parting because for years they've been taking care of trifle.
They fight over infinitely absurd things, from this hatred springs, creating
terrible resentments and sorrows that in many cases are never forgotten.
There are ants who decide, overnight, for no apparent
reason, to move the nest of their colony to another place. Usually this is a
small group of radicals. They find another suitable place and decide to change
the whole colony. So they simply start picking up their furniture, eggs, larvae
and cocoons and move into their new home. Conservative ants - those who do not
want to move to the new house - do not accept such an imposition, but when they
realize what happened, they find that the others have already taken one or two
shipments of their things. So they go after and bring back what they've lost.
Not wanting to be easily beaten, the ones who want to move, come back and pick
things up and load them back again. Soon the whole nest is involved in this
admirable folly. The whole colony is on the trail or taking things in one
direction or another.
- Once a newlywed couple was in the living room of their
home for the sunset service from Friday to Saturday. They were singing,
hugging, when suddenly they both let out a scream. His wife ran into the
kitchen screaming "It's a rat." But her husband corrected her and
told her, "It's not a rat, it's a cockroach." The wife did not accept
such an interpretation and went on to insist that it was a rat. Soon the two
began to argue, tempers increased, and amazingly, they went to sleep badly and
apart because of such nonsense. Since they were very proud, they spent the next
week without talking. But when the new Friday sunset came, they decided to
apologize to each other and forget what happened. They sang hymns together,
prayed to God, and greeted each other with a broad and warm kiss. Suddenly the
wife turns to her husband and tells her very kindly: "But that was a rat
it was". Ready. Again another week of intrigue because of something so casual.
See this with ants, that's fine. But with beings
smart, it's too frustrating!
5) It is important to emphasize here
that with the passage of time and the acquisition of experiences together, the
couple goes every day getting to know each other more and more. This makes them
so intimate that one knows the way, the way of being and thinking of his
companion in such a way that he already seems to guess his reactions in the
face of many situations. This is very good for the growth of both in the
marital relationship, and it may be even better if each spouse respects such
acquired knowledge, without forgetting these details, as well as ordering their
married life based on this. Couples often complain about having to repeat their way of acting
and thinking to their spouse. This, in the course of busy days and work, causes
a lot of friction.
- It is remarkable the ability of
animals to understand
quick gestures, tone
of voice and
attitudes of people, especially their owners. There was a poodle dog that
lalates or stopped lalate in the face of problems of addition or subtraction
without making mistakes. This did, not because he knew anitmetic, but because
he could look closely in the face of his owner and apparently read some sign
that even the owner did not know. Often the animal acts at an unknown signal.
One bitch knew when a visit was disturbing her owner's nerves. When she
realized this, she would stand behind the offending person and gently, but
firmly, she bit her. It was not understood how the dog knew who to bite,
because she determined her victim, even if she was under the table or unable to
see semblants or gestures. Dogs seem to know when someone will feed them or do
something to them they are not interested in. They know when their owners will
pick up the mail or a long long walk long awaited. We have no idea how such
communication happens. However, what we can deduce is that we can establish
bonds between ourselves and wild animals, as well as domestic animals, in such
a way that we allow them to understand things about us, which we ourselves do
not know, facilitating a fuller communication with them.
6) Avoid making comparations of your spouse, or your married life, with
other people or the lives of other couples.
If there's one thing that hurts a lot,
it's being compared to others we love, especially if we're sensitive. Such an
attitude leads the spouse into a deep sorrow feeling discriminated against,
incapable, inferiorized and loved conditionally. He will never be sure that he
is fully loved by his companion. We must avoid both the comparison of attitudes
and behavior, as well as the way of facing life. The Bible is very clear in
showing us that we were made unique in the Universe. Our fingerprints, as well
as our DNA, as we've seen in previous chapters, attest to this. Therefore, each
person has an original way of behaving in the face of situations, as well as of
facing life and living it. Therefore any comparison is useless and dispensable
because it will never apply to any situation we face. Of course, let's not fail
to observe good and bad examples. The wise person analyzes the experience of
others and uses it not to make the same mistakes, as well as to improve their
lives. However, in the context, this must be done without comparing people,
using a lot of unconditional love in our loving relationship. Remember that God
does not judge you based on the experience of others, not even that of our Lord
Jesus Christ, but on His holy and just eternal Law.
- It is natural for us to compare things to each other, to
see which one comes out to others. We can do it, for example, with animals. Do
you know what the greatest creature in the world is? It is the mammal whale
that weighs more than 150 tons and reaches the length of
The largest bird is the ostrich. The largest
fish is the shark, which reaches
Despite these size and proportions, each
animal has its personal importance as well as balance for life on Earth.
Comparing them to discriminate against them in better or worse is a task only
for those who do not know the infinite wisdom of our God.
7) Allied to not making
comparations, we have the biblical order: "Love be without hypocrisy. Hate
evil by clinging to good" Romans 12:9.
There is no doubt that from the beginning
of the loving relationship, especially after marriage, we began to see many
flaws in our companion. Many of these are so terrible for some that one reaches
an unbearable level of coexistence, resulting from separation. But the Apostle
Paul is quite clear: he recognizes that we have come to be realistic with
situations; there are many things we do not endure, this is natural, and we
should not hide such a feeling, much less from our spouse. However, the only
solution for solving such problems is to "cling to good", that is, to
see in people their virtues, and to value them. Of course, we must seek to help
with defects, for the same apostle tells us to hate evil. But let us never
forget that a person has not only a defect, but also many pleasant virtues, which
are valued and stimulated to growth, will make life for two of an incredible
beauty, which even angels will envy.
- The sole fish is well adapted to life at the bottom of
the ocean. Like other flat fish, it has flattened, white body on the sides, and
its bottom and upper resembles sand and other materials from the seabed.
Interestingly, his two eyes are located on one side of the body (at the top),
after they have changed position, inside the water. It wasn't always like this.
At birth, the little fish looked and acted like any other. They had an eye on
each side of their heads and they swimd in a normal way. As they developed,
however, his skull rotated more and more to the right side until he was forced
to flatten himself on one of his sides.
As the body of
the flat fish changes shape, its eyes also change position. One of the eyes
moves toward the top of the head, over the easel of the nose and fills the
empty space there. Meanwhile, the eye that was originally in that cavity heads
down toward the nose in search of another depression. It's hard to imagine how
it can adapt in such a way, but of course it's much better for the flat fish to
have two eyes on top of the head than to remain as before, keeping an eye on
the side that stayed down. If that were the case, that eye would be useless.
It's obvious that the eyes have no value
unless we use them. This truth was expressed by Jeremiah as he preached to the
people of Israel saying, "I have heard this now, O mad and heartless
people, that you have eyes and do not see, that you have ears and do not
hear" Jeremiah 5:21. But we must use them correctly: to examine
everything, retaining good. Israel had eyes, but they made themselves blind,
not wanting to see their spiritual misery, as well as the righteousness and
sovereignty of God. Let us use our own well, taking the best of life: then we
will have a much happier existence.
8) Open up.
- The lobster is covered with armor that protects it from
its natural enemies. However, it has a terrible disposition to open it, being
considered in the natural world, one of the most stingy animals that exists,
even not even getting along with others of its kind. The American lobster uses
his legs to breathe, the antenna to taste, has teeth in his stomach, has no
hearing organ and his blood is blue. You could say that anyone with all these
problems has reason to be petty, but of course such conditions are normal for
her in the environment and in the kind of life in which she lives.
There are many like lobster. They are by
nature black, introverted in excess and hate to open up to anyone. When this
occurs in the home, all members feel. And the worst is that often this person
uses the lack of communication as punishment for relatives, or as a form of
self-flagellation. Such behavior gradually destroys the novel, prevents the
natural continuation of communication, increases mistrust, resulting in
alienation and other serious problems in the home.
Open up. Tell your wife about your
day-to-day tribulations: frustrations, disappointments, fears, as well as joys.
Let go of prolonged silence, ugly face for a week or the well-known grumblings
who do not communicate anything. Open up. Talk. Tell. Express yourself. After
all, God himself saw that if man were alone in his small, mediocre personal
world, he would be completely unhappy.
9) Self-centeredness in interpersonal
relationships is also something that hurts, destroys and parades people. Have
you ever seen that husband who wants everything done in his own fashion, as
well as for his pleasure at home? He sees his wife and children as servants of
his will, mere objects to satisfy his desire. If there is no TV at home, it is
bought when he feels the need, and does so for him to watch his favorite shows.
The entire budget of the house should revolve around its ambitions, no matter
much the situation, nor the longings and achievements of the other members of
the household.
- The center of our galaxy, the Milky Way, is
something mysterious and at the same time very interesting to observe. When the
radio waves at the center of the Milky Way are translated into photographs,
what is seen is the image of an immense gas cloud, perhaps hundreds of
light-years wide, but containing at the core what may be a "black
hole". Gushing from the center in the form of spiing are super gas jets.
which are often characteristic of a black hole.
In fact it is not a hole but rather a
compact star that is so condensed that its gravity is so strong that it does
not even let the rays of light escape in space. Everything that passes
"close" to her is extraordinarily pulled in. And the amazing thing is
that it seems that such a hole has no end to be filled, because it constantly
continues to pull everything that is within its reach. Impressive is also that
when pulling any object, the black hole compresses it, to the point that, for
example, if the Earth were compressed into a black hole, it would be less than
1.8 cm in diameter!
Egocentrism crushes those around, trying
to adapt people for their own benefit. Such behavior is rooted in character,
and will only be overcome solely and exclusively by divine power. If you have
such a defect, go to Jesus today, before you yourself are destroyed by your own
selfishness, taking all your loved ones with you.
9) One of the safest signs of wisdom is the
caution with which the person answers a question addressed to
him, especially when we are tired, angry and tense. For whatever reason, we
praise the person for quick responses. We even play games to see who answers a
battery of questions faster. The results may lead us to respond quickly on
occasions when we should spend a little more time listening or thinking before
saying something.
- A creature that has always been
regarded as slow is the snail.
It's certainly not much honor to be called a slug, or someone to tell you that
you're boring like the turtle. But let's consider the snail for a moment.
Snails are very thoughtful about what they do. They're never in a hurry. What
would they gain if they were? Sometimes the mollusc remains in the shell for a
long time. No one knows why, but evidently if they don't have to leave, they
don't.
- It tells the story of a supposedly
dead snail that was found in Egypt. It was put on a card and exhibited at the
British Museum. Several years later, the mollusc emerged, to the surprise of
those observed- and was not in a hurry!
- The snail deposits a carpet of viscous
substance wherever it passes, which makes it move safely, even if the rail is
the thread of a razor. It takes a long time to produce such a substance, and
the snail takes as long as it takes for this.
- There are few creatures in the world
as strong as the snail. Weighing less than 10 grams, it is able to pull nearly
4 pounds- approximately 400 times its own weight. This represents a 5-pound
baby pulling a car! It takes time to produce such strength.
Wouldn't you like to be known for your
wisdom much more than for your hasty tongue? Think before you speak. Try to
overcome evil with good. For the biblical counsel is: "Let every man be
ready to hear, late to speak, late to be ira"James 1:19.
10) In this last topic I would like to
highlight that in
this life everything really is fleeting. Many overvalue the beauty, money,
status or positions of importance that life can offer them. But remember, all
this goes away. The only thing we really bring away from this
life is the attention and affection we receive from our family as a result of
what we have given it. If you give your son a zero car, 10 years from now he'll
be old, maybe going to the junkyard. Some part with his wife because they value
the beauty of another young woman. But one day she'll be like the wife, too.
But the love you give your child, the good times together with his wife, the
Christmases on the edge of the table never pass. They stay in our memory
forever, and bring an eternal result: they bring us much closer to God.
- The word ephemeral means "something that lasts for a
short time." An example of this is the beautiful flowers; many bloom one
morning and close on the same night, no longer opening. There is also the group
of winged insects that live only for one day- ephemorrha. In reality, this group lives for several
years, but like larvae, or worm-like creatures, into the water, but on the day
they grow up and become adults, they become ephemeral, as they come out of
their old bodies, they spread their wings rising in rapid flight, mate, lay
their eggs and then die. This whole process takes place in less than 24 hours.
Compared
to ephemororrha,
other types of animals lived long. The animal
that lived the most was a turtle that reached the age of 152 years or more. Of
course this is nothing compared to the age of Methuselah who lived 969 years.
Still, they passed.
APPEAL: For this, dear friend, enjoy
every moment of your life to enjoy what is really worth experiencing. Value
your family. Give her the most. And then you'll see how it was worth living.
SOURCE
Adventures of Creation. Dr. Haroldo G, Coffin. Casa Publicadora
Brasileira, Tatuí-SP, Brazil. 1993 edition.
Youth Inspiration. Casa Publicadora
Brasileira, Tatuí-SP, Brazil. Editions from 1977 to 2005.
Pr. Marcelo Augusto De Carvalho -
April 1997 São Paulo Brazil